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Hello

Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change the world which yields most painfully to change.   Robert F. Kennedy, Speech at the University of Capetown, South Africa, Day of Affirmation, 6 June 1966

Dec. 31, 2009

Facing A New Year Without Fear

As the sun shone above on a warm spring day nearly 10 years ago, a manager at a media company spouted off to me about everything she disliked about a former employee. Apparently, the ex-writer had to leave the office often to care for her child.

Needless to say, the conversation left me feeling uncomfortable, especially since I had applied for the woman’s writing job and was expecting a baby in a few months. I think somewhere in the job seekers’ guidelines, you’ll find a list of red flags – one being, “Watch out for companies that bash former employees.”

Though I didn’t get the job, one I so badly needed, I ended up on a journey lasting years in which I wasn’t sure how often or if I’d get paid for work I had performed. I worked long hours as a freelance writer and part-time English instructor, which made my earnings far less than minimum wage, and on some holidays when full-time employees received their paychecks and bonuses, I had to wait until after the holidays to receive my pay. I was a single mother with an infant, who had food and clothing needs. I also had a car payment, health insurance, loans and many other bills to pay. How would I do this with so little money?

I imagine that some of you face such circumstances now with many people unemployed as well as underemployed. But rest assured, you will manage to move through this difficult period. In time, all that seems so dour will fade, even though the journey itself may appear unfair.

While comforting words sometimes can’t fill the fear you feel, trust to know that you aren’t alone. To help me on days when I doubted anything could change or could go well, I turned to a book titled How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

Carnegie provides strategies to help readers see the light in darkness and to take command of life and make it work. The book provides vignettes of the trials of people Carnegie knew, detailing how they handled tragedy, stress and loss.

For example, in one chapter, Carnegie tells the story of a friend who had lost his job, his business and was in debt during the 1930s. This friend explained while on a trip to try and borrow money so he could apply for a job in a distant city, he met a man without legs who moved about on a wooden platform. Though this stranger had no legs, he greeted Carnegie’s friend with a smile and expressed what a nice day it was (qtd. in Carnegie 146).

Feeling ashamed of his worrying because he had met someone whose apparent loss hadn’t destroyed his spirit, Carnegie’s friend later placed the following words up as a reminder not to worry:

“I had the blues because I had no shoes. Until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet” (qtd. in Carnegie 146).

Though sometimes we find it pointless to look at the struggles of others, we can learn more about how to handle stress and problems from them.

We’ll all have to make decisions and face battles as the New Year begins, and we can measure our success, not by how much money we have or by how prestigious our job is, but by each and every obstacle we overcome.

Good luck to you in 2010, and I wish you the best New Year’s Day ever!

Bobbie Whitehead

Works Cited

Carnegie, Dale. How To Stop Worrying And Start Living. New York: Pocket Books, 1984. Print.